God Bless America
by Kathryn Claire O'Connor
Summary: Loki gets bored in the Tower and decides to cast a spell on Steve - or should he say "Stephanie?" *features a genderbent Steve*


**This is an idea I've had for a couple of months and decided to write down while in between multi-chapter stories. Rather entirely crack-ish. Enjoy!:)**

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Loki had been living in Avengers Tower with the Avengers for a few months now, and he was beginning to feel at home here in this place on Midgard. Most days that was a good thing; some days it was not, because when Loki began to feel too comfortable in a place – like there was too much of a routine established – he often felt the need to cause mischief in one form or another. Harmless but hilarious was still his favorite way to go, and now, thanks to his magic, he had a whole world of possibilities that stretched far beyond mortal woopie cushions and a few stratigically-placed mice.

Today was turning into one of those monotonous days that just begged to be shook up a little with a good bit of mischievous magic.

But who to unleash his glory on? Loki's first choice, his brother, was out with that mortal woman, Jane Foster, as always. Stark – Loki's second-favorite victim – had been dragged into a day of board meetings by the hands of one very demanding Pepper Potts. Due to the fact that the last of his bruises from being thrown around like a rag doll by the Hulk were just now taking their leave, Loki thought it best to leave Dr. Banner alone in his lab. Agent Romanoff, perhaps? Best not, she'd still take any chance or reason she got to kill him, and the same could be said for her partner, Agent Barton. Besides that, they were off on a mission for SHIELD today. That, of course, left none other than the Avengers' unshakable Captain America, Steve Rogers.

Perhaps Loki would just have to see if the old man couldn't be shaken up a bit; after all, he still wasn't used to Asgardian magic. It was almost too easy. His options for wreaking havoc here were so very numerous that it took him a surprisingly long while to come up with the right spell that would undoubtedly unnerve the soldier. And it was such a simple idea, too!

Now that Loki had his idea in place, he simply needed to find the good captain, but this, too, was almost too easy. After receiving directives from Jarvis, he knew he would find his unsuspecting prey in the entertainment room. Trying to figure out the computer while Stark wasn't around to mock him, perhaps?

Regardless of Steve's reasoning for being in the room, Loki liked maintaining the element of surprise, so he teleported himself directly to the side of the entertainment room doorway. He could see Steve, Steve couldn't see him, and there had been no approaching footfalls to give him away. Loki almost believed he was getting too good at this.

Darting his head and one hand around the edge of the doorjamb, Loki shot out the desired spell, watching with glee as it took immediate effect over the man who had indeed been sitting on the couch with a laptop. Steve screamed and scrambled onto _her _feet, the laptop getting dumped unceremoniously on the floor. The captain scrambled to check her reflection in the black television screen and howled again when the image that met her was one of feminine features and flowing dark blonde curls.

Captain America fell ungracefully back onto her derrière on the floor, staring at the television screen and muttering with wide-eyed horror before she began to stutter and finally curse like the army man – or woman, currently – that she was. When at last a full sentence was formed, it was a very loud, articulate, "How the d*** h*** is this possible? What the h*** happened to me?"

Unable to take it in silence anymore, Loki doubled over with laughter as he came into the entertainment room, eventually gasping out, "What's wrong, Captain Stephanie? Don't you like your makeover?"

Fury filled "Stephanie's" eyes as she scrambled to her feet and got within four inches of Loki's face, ordering venomously, "Turn. Me. Back."

"Or you'll what?"

"Kill you!"

"Asgardians are rather indestructible, remember?"

"Not with Banner and the Hulk still in the building, you're not," Rogers countered evenly.

"Oh," Loki pretended to pout. "Don't be so dour. Really, Captain," Loki appreciatively raked his eyes over her from head to toe. "God bless America… you look absolutely ravishing this way."

The woman in front of him turned beet red with embarassment, demanding insistantly, "Turn me back or I'll bless America by doing them the favor of ending your pathetic life."

"Bully," Loki accused, knowing that would get to Rogers. "You're being cruel, Stephanie."

Steve just glared, unimpressed and unwavering. "Stephanie" was actually very cute when she was angry – or maybe she was just beautiful in any mood, Loki mused to himself.

"Alright," Loki groaned, prepared to give in and return Steve to her natural masculine form. A smirk curved at his lips before he bargained, "But I'll need you to give me a kiss first."

"I'd rather be given a bullet to the brain."

"Very well," Loki said, reaching towards the gun he knew the captain kept on his or her person.

Steve reacted instantly and violently, wrenching Loki's arm and slamming him onto his back on the floor before kneeling down over him to press a knee into his gut. Loki arched his eyebrows at the flashing blue eyes floating in his vision, a split-second warning in the smirk he flashed Steve before he flipped them. Now Steve's arms were pinned above his head in one of Loki's hands and the god was using one of his legs to pin the captain's own legs still.

Loki's smirk only widened as he watched Steve struggle for a second before he brushed the blonde hair away from the woman's face and gave her a quick, chaste kiss. Instantly springing up from the floor and fleeing for his life, Loki shot a reversal spell over his shoulder that would turn Steve back into a man.

As he ran, Loki couldn't help but call manically back to Steve, "God bless America!"

"You don't even know the meaning of those words!" Steve howled, taking up the chase.

"Really?" Loki asked with another smirk, turning so that he was running backwards and looking at Steve. "Because if I had been allowed, I would've loved to 'bless' dear Stephanie."

That was when Steve started trying to shoot him. Loki burst our laughing as he turned back around and began to dodge the bullets coming his way. A day when he could cause enough mischief that even Captain America was trying to shoot him at random? Now that was a day that Loki considered productive.

In the moment before he teleported himself to some point a fair distance from Avengers Tower, Loki screamed, "I love Americans!"


End file.
